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Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Truth About TRUTH and BETRAYAL

Original Post: 02/20/2011

The truth about truth is sometimes it hurts, and the truth about betrayal is that it hurts deeply and sometimes irreparably. So which do you want to tell? Do you want to BE truth? Or betrayal?
Would you trust a liar? Would you trust a cheater?
Would you trust a person who cannot express or hold to truth at all?
It is important to live a life with truth and integrity. When you give your word to someone, when you make a commitment to do something, KEEP it!
Do what you say you will do and be who you say you are.
The only thing we really have in this life are the relationships and friendships we build.
You can't build a solid, trusting and healthy relationship on lies.
Now, there can always seem to be more than one version of the truth because we each have our own perspective in any given situation of what did or didn't happen. I have always said there are three versions in any story...HIS truth, HER truth and the ACTUAL truth.
The actual truth can sometimes be very surprising because of the many lies we tell ourselves daily.
We always want to be seen in the best possible light even to ourselves, especially to ourselves but, if we can actually dig a little deeper we can find the real truth, acknowledge it and then grow better and brighter and even more REAL as a person.
It isn't always pretty to see every aspect of who we truly are but, it is worth looking and acknowledging and owning our own selves for truth and personal growth.
Try it!
There are many ways of betrayal that we know and understand. For example, we call a person who commits an act of treason or aids an enemy of our country a traitor and betrayer.
Also, we would see violating a trust or agreement in a workplace, friendship or relationship as a betrayal.
If someone is shown as false or disloyal or has gossiped about a secret you asked them to keep then they also have committed a betrayal.
If someone deliberately misleads you, deceives you or leads you astray they have betrayed your trust.
If someone commits to a job and a manner of behaviour related to that job but doesn't keep their word they have betrayed their employers trust.
One of the biggest betrayals in our relationships is when our spouse, who has taken a vow to be faithful decides to have an affair with someone else. We feel disrespected, unloved, unappreciated, and totally betrayed because we promised to love, honour and cherish them and we expect them to keep that same promise in return.
It is important to live a life of honesty and integrity because no one trusts a liar or appreciates being betrayed.
Some people can be terribly damaged from being betrayed and live a broken life, unable to heal their broken hearts.
This not only hurts them but, every person who may be involved with them afterwards especially the next person to try and build an intimate relationship with them.
This person will have double the work load and will need to be extremely patient and loving!
Lies and betrayal spread like ripples in a pond and before you know it many, many people have been affected and damaged in some way by the behaviour.
An act of betrayal creates a doubt inside the injured party that, while they can decide to forgive they will likely never forget or be able to completely remove from their psyche. They will forever only trust you to a certain point and beyond that will find OTHER people they CAN trust. So you may be able to keep them and repair some of the damage but, not all. While some betrayals can be forgiven and second chances given, some are just too damaging and hurtful for the other person to forgive. Trust is a fragile thing that once broken is very very difficult to repair therefore, it is very wise to choose a life of truth and integrity instead of falsity and betrayal.
Sometimes it may be very difficult to tell the truth especially if it is something that we feel may hurt another person to the point that they will not forgive us. So we tell "little white lies" to save their feelings.
We all do this. I believe it is when NOT telling the truth would cause harm to someone that we have to decide to be strong and take the fallout for the betterment of the friendship or relationship.
If you have a REAL, strong, committed relationship, telling the truth might hurt at first but will be appreciated later because deep down we recognize the truth AS truth and if we are a good person we do eventually embrace the ability to change or improve our relationship or situation.
None of us really want to live in a stagnant relationship or situation.
Sometimes we just don't recognize the truth as it really is UNTIL someone we love and respect and trust mirrors it back to us, or clarifies it for us.
If you have found friendships or relationships like this in your life you are lucky indeed!
In my experience, the truth can hurt but, betrayal can eat you alive from the inside out and damage and scar sometimes forever. Especially if you are a person who has a hard time lettin go of the hurt.
So, because I really don't wish harm or hurt to anyone, I choose to live a life of truth and integrity.
I truly hope that you do too! :)

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